On Suicide

Suicide is defined as the act of intentionally ending one’s own life. While there are a lot of views and opinions on suicide, most, if not all people agree that this is a horrible and deeply tragic thing to happen, both for the individual killing themselves and for those care about them.

My aim in this post is not to argue for suicide or excuse it as a good way of ending one's suffering. Instead, I would like to invite the reader to a perspective on suicide that, while not novel, in my opinion, is not talked about enough. This is a perspective grounded in empathy rather than judgement.

We all suffer, we all go through lows and sometimes these lows are terribly hard on us, in a way that we never imagined they could be. The ones that persevere in the face of adversity are considered strong and resilient, and the ones that do go through with it, although it may not be explicitly said, may be considered weak at worst or considered as having lost a battle with oneself, at best.

I find both of these interpretations limiting and unsympathetic.

There is often an assumption of agency when one takes their own life. Perhaps not in the series of events that precipitate the end of one's life, but in the act itself. Suicide is often the result of multiple interacting biological, psychological, social, and environmental factors, making it a profoundly complex issue. These factors are often beyond a person's control, making them hard to anticipate, prepare for, or "win".

The film The End of the Tour is a tribute to the writer David Foster Wallace. The author of many great books, including his most popular, Infinite Jest. In the film, there is a quote that I believe, captures the essence of what I am trying to say.

This way of looking at suicide offers empathy to the person that "goes through with it". Moreover, I would add that although one should never consider suicide as a way out, if our first reaction is judgment rather than compassion, it may be worth asking ourselves why.

We need to understand why suicide occurs in order to tackle it and coming from a place of empathy helps us do that.

With Love,

João C.

Disclaimer: Everything I share here comes from personal experience and what I've found helpful. This isn't a substitute for professional advice—if you're struggling, I truly encourage you to reach out to a qualified mental health professional.